My Nana has Dementia - Its broke my heart

My nana has been like a second mum to me. She has always been there for me, no matter what. She's 89, and I am very happy she has had a long life, but dementia? It's cruel.

I don't live near my family. I moved to Glasgow well over 10 years ago with my children, so I didn't always see them as much as I would like. I feel guilty.

My mother and I always worried about this because my nana's mother and sister passed away from dementia. When she started showing the signs, I got worried and asked my mother and aunt to take her to the doctors. Over the past couple of years, it's been gradual, but the past few months, there has been a decline, which I  made my heart break. 

My nana

My nana is called Dorothy, and she was married to my grandad John for almost 40 years. They had 3 children, including my mother. Unfornetly, my grandad passed away when he was 66, leaving my nana a widow.

Growing up, I didn't see her much, but when I got to teenager, I saw her every weekend. We go on shopping trips, coffee shop visits, and she would teach me a lot of skills, including cooking, cleaning and knitting. I remember when I was 16 and we went on holiday in Spain, and it was so much fun.

When I had my children, she handknit clothes for them. I will always treasure that. 

The Signs

We noticed that my nana was becoming different. She started being less judgmental, much nicer in general (she was always nice to me, but other people). She began to stop doing her hair and makeup, which was a major sign because my nana has always been glamorous; she always did her makeup and hair every morning.

When my uncle got sick in the hospital for 2 months, she began to act differently. She got angry at everyone. It got dangerous for my uncle, who just had a stroke and the sad decision was made to put her in a nursing home. 

Recently 

I phone my nana as much as possible, and over the passed couple of months she has forgotten who I am for the most part. I rang her up last week and she asked the nurse who I was again. She then asked me if I had finished school for the day, which made me have tears stream down my face because it's been over 20 years since I last went to school.

She then asked if I was her niece. The nurse reminded her I was her granddaughter,r which made her happy. 

It really hurts your heart when a person you love has dementia. The person you love changes, and the person you know is no longer like they were before.

I keep up conversation and remind her about all the things she loves, including Gene Kelly, musicals and cake. 

I've got to admit it's been hard for us all, but I am thankful to God for giving her a long life.

Until next time Mel x